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Brain? 1.6.2004
A three-year-old boy taking a bath examined his penis and
asked, "Mommy, is this my brain"?
The mother replied, "Not yet, honey."
0 Kommentare, 14 Angesehen,
24 Stimmen
,6.54 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Blonde Joke 1.6.2004
A blonde wife ran into her house and yelled, "Honey,
someone just stole our car."
The husband asked, "Did you get a good look at him?"
"No, " the blonde replied. "But I got
the license plate number."
0 Kommentare, 6 Angesehen,
33 Stimmen
,7.00 Gesamtpunktzahl
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at&t 31.5.2004
I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when
the phone rang.
<br>
ME: Hello.
<br>
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...
<br>
ME: Is this AT&T.?
<br>
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
<br>
ME: This is AT&T.?
<br>
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
<br>
ME: Is this AT&T.?
<br>
AT&T: Yes! This is ...
0 Kommentare, 15 Angesehen,
115 Stimmen
,8.17 Gesamtpunktzahl
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visit to the gynecologist 31.5.2004
A mother after have a trying morning... waking up late,
making breakfast, getting the out to school and then
realizing she is running late for her appointment with
the gynecologist. The trip to his office usually took about
35 minutes so she didn't have any time to spare.
As most women do, I'm sure, you like to take a little
extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but
this ...
0 Kommentare, 41 Angesehen,
58 Stimmen
,7.41 Gesamtpunktzahl
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magic elevator 31.5.2004
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed
by almost
<br>
everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver
walls that
<br>
could move apart and then slide back together again.
<br>
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
<br>
he father, never having seen an elevator responded, ",
I have never
<br>
seen anything ...
0 Kommentare, 14 Angesehen,
31 Stimmen
,6.79 Gesamtpunktzahl
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come on baby 31.5.2004
It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his
date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he
goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and
invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why
don't you have a seat?, " he says.
<br>
"That's cool" says Bobby.
<br>
Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning
to do.
<br>
Bobby replies ...
0 Kommentare, 40 Angesehen,
37 Stimmen
,6.54 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Hugging a Tree 31.5.2004
A golfer looking for his ball in the woods when he comes up
to
another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the
tree. Seeing this
he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell
are you doing?"
<br>
"I'm listening to the music of the tree."
<br>
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
<br>
"No, would you like to give it a try?"
<br>
...
0 Kommentare, 47 Angesehen,
35 Stimmen
,5.79 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The Smoker, the Alcoholic and the Homosexual 31.5.2004
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day
to discuss
<br>
Their options. One was an Alcoholic, one was a Chain-Smoker,
and one was a
<br>
Homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them,
said, "If any
<br>
of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely
die."
<br>
<br>
The men left the doctor's office, ...
0 Kommentare, 25 Angesehen,
74 Stimmen
,8.37 Gesamtpunktzahl
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the gift 31.5.2004
A guy is sitting all alone at a bar, the bartender looks at
him and laughs.
The man shrugs it off... The bartender looks at him and laughs
again,
the barteneder finnaly went over to the man and said
"I'm sorry but you have to be the ugliest man that
I have ever seen."
The man replied by saying I dont think so. I can get any lady
that I want.
The bartender looks around and sees ...
0 Kommentare, 61 Angesehen,
39 Stimmen
,5.44 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The 10 Most Important People in a Woman's Life 31.5.2004
1. The doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"
<br>
2. The dentist because he says, "Open Wide"
<br>
3. The hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it
teased or blown"
<br>
4. The milkman because he says, "Do you want it in the
front or in back?"
<br>
5. The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once
you have it all in, you'll love ...
0 Kommentare, 17 Angesehen,
50 Stimmen
,6.71 Gesamtpunktzahl
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panic 31.5.2004
A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks
and soon wound up at his place, in bed.
<br>
They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly
she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking and foaming
at the mouth.
<br>
Our uninformed male thought this was incredible -- best
sex he'd ever had. He finished, but she is still shaking
and ...
0 Kommentare, 19 Angesehen,
20 Stimmen
,3.89 Gesamtpunktzahl
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haw 31.5.2004
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives
how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets
the word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one
thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English,
so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
<br>
He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a
tree." The chief looks at the ...
0 Kommentare, 13 Angesehen,
23 Stimmen
,6.16 Gesamtpunktzahl
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nuns are people too 31.5.2004
A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into
a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping with music and
dancing but every once in a while the lights would turn off.
Each time after the lights would go out the place would erupt
into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the
roomwent dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, " May I
please use the ...
0 Kommentare, 75 Angesehen,
44 Stimmen
,7.84 Gesamtpunktzahl
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adult fairy rales 31.5.2004
PINOCCHIO
<br>
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes
complain about splinters when they were having sex.
Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if
he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away
enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw
Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked ...
0 Kommentare, 12 Angesehen,
35 Stimmen
,6.76 Gesamtpunktzahl
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blonde 31.5.2004
SHE WAS SO BLONDE…
… she thought a quarterback was a refund
… she thought General Motors was in the army
… she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats
… at the bottom where it said "sign here" she
wrote Libra
<br>
SHE WAS SOO BLONDE…
… she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
… she sent a fax with a stamp on it ...
0 Kommentare, 7 Angesehen,
33 Stimmen
,5.90 Gesamtpunktzahl
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funny 31.5.2004
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
<br>
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
<br>
EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S
AGENT
<br>
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN
PRAYER
<br>
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS
IT
<br>
THE MORSE CODE: When ...
0 Kommentare, 6 Angesehen,
14 Stimmen
,4.10 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The Dr. 31.5.2004
Bob was a good doctor, except for one thing: he had affairs
with his patients.
<br>
He would try to tell himself it was okay.
<br>
One side of him would say, "Bob, you're a good
doctor, and, besides, plenty of doctors have ellicit affiars
with their patients."
<br>
Then the other side of him would say, "But, Bob...you're
a veterinarian."
0 Kommentare, 76 Angesehen,
21 Stimmen
,4.61 Gesamtpunktzahl
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$1.35 30.5.2004
ok there was this boy and he was going on a date and he was going
to fuck her. he didnt know what to do because he has never
done anything with a girl before. so he goes to his friend
and tells him about it and he tells him pretend u have a dime
on your hip. the boy says ok so then he goes to his brother
and tells him his brother tol;d him pretend there is a quarter
on your hip. so the biy ...
0 Kommentare, 50 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,1.19 Gesamtpunktzahl
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If Microsoft Made A Car 30.5.2004
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry
and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1, 000 miles to the gallon."
<br> ...
0 Kommentare, 7 Angesehen,
31 Stimmen
,7.65 Gesamtpunktzahl
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johny's little brother 29.5.2004
one day johny walks in to his parent's bedroom, and
sees his parents having sex. obviously upset, johny runs
out of the bedroom, and johny's dad goes after him.
johny asks his dad "what were you doing to mommy."
and dad replies"i was making you a little brother."
well the next day johny is crying on the front porch when
his dad gets home from work, so his dad asks him what's
wrong, and ...
0 Kommentare, 32 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,3.93 Gesamtpunktzahl
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re-cycle 28.5.2004
do you know how to re-cycle a condom?
turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!
0 Kommentare, 18 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,0.98 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Two Exhibitions 27.5.2004
Wife ( to her husband who did not fuck her satisfying her
sexual urge last night): Last night I saw an exhibition
in my dream.
Husband: O really? What was the exhibition about.
Wife: It was an exhibition of cocks of different variety.
Thick cocks! Long cocks! White cocks! Black cocks! and
so on!
Husband: Did you see my cock too in the exhibition?
Wife: Yes it was lying in a corner ...
0 Kommentare, 43 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,1.94 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The Goldfish 26.5.2004
One day Timmy is in his back yard digging a hole.
His neighbour, seeing him there, decides to investigate.
"Whatcha doin?" he asks.
Timmy replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying
him."
"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't
it?" asked the neighbour.
Timmy shouts back, "That's because he's
inside your f*cking cat."
0 Kommentare, 16 Angesehen,
63 Stimmen
,7.70 Gesamtpunktzahl
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BUNCH OF REALLY GOOD JOKES 26.5.2004
WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
- THEY ARE PLUGGED INTO A GENIUS
<br>
WHY DID GOT PUT MEN ON EARTH?
-BECAUSE A VIBRATOR CAN'T MOW THE LAWN
<br>
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EROTIC AND KINKY?
-EROTIC IS USING A FEATHER KINKY IS USING THE WHOLE DAMNED
CHICKEN
<br>
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PEEPING TOM AND A ROBBER?
-A ROBBER SNATCHES ...
0 Kommentare, 8 Angesehen,
50 Stimmen
,6.91 Gesamtpunktzahl
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word changes 26.5.2004
Q. What two words change places after the wedding.
A. Will you becomes you will
0 Kommentare, 24 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
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I miss her already. 26.5.2004
“When did you first realize that your wife was dead?” Said
one guy to his buddy. “Well”, said the other, “the sex was
the same, but the dishes were starting to pile up in the sink”.
0 Kommentare, 15 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,3.12 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Bill andMonica 25.5.2004
Bill (to Monica who is playing with his dick): Today I will
fuck you in your ear.
<br>
Monica: You will make me deaf.
<br>
Bill: Do not be a fool. Have I ever made you dumb?
0 Kommentare, 11 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,4.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
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My Dick is So Big 25.5.2004
My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.
<br>
My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
<br>
My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's
calls.
<br>
My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high
school.
<br>
My dick has an elevator and a lobby.
<br>
My dick has ...
0 Kommentare, 11 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,2.16 Gesamtpunktzahl
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80 year-old virgin 25.5.2004
There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in
her crotch area. She goes to the doctor who checks her out
and tells her she has crabs. She explained that she couldn't
have crabs because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn't
believe her, so she went to get a second opinion.
<br>
The second doctor gave her the same answer. So she went to
a third doctor and said ...
0 Kommentare, 7 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,2.45 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Free Beer 25.5.2004
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs
over the bar: FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.
<br>
Bartender: "Well, FIRST you have to drink that whole
gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you
can't make a face while doing it. SECOND, there's
a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you ...
0 Kommentare, 8 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,4.82 Gesamtpunktzahl
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