Your profile is the gateway to success on this here site, serving as a virtual welcome mat to your online persona. Unfortunately, some members have a veritable "KEEP OUT" sign instead, due to several common pitfalls of The Badly Written Profile.
Your profile is your first impression, and your chance to shine. So how do you make the most out of it? By reading about these basic guidelines and tips!
The Basics
Who are you?
Why are you here?
What are you looking for?
Your profile should cover all of these critical elements. Sounds simple enough, but you’d be surprised by how many people skip these questions, which are all vital to your success on the site.
Writing about yourself can be strange ‒ so feel free to go back and edit and add more over time. And don’t be afraid to use a bit of humor!
Write a Good Headline
Good: Hot Single Guy Seeking FWB in NorCal
Bad: SUCK ON DEEZ NUTZ LOLOLOLOL
Ideally, you headline should be a tiny summary of the three basic questions ‒ or try a witty, eye-catching headline (hint: “suck me now” isn’t particularly funny or clever).
Beware the Genitalia
We’re working on a separate guide specifically for photos, but your default photo merits mention here: it’s an especially important part of your profile, because it serves as the first impression. And generally, your first impression should not be an exxxxxtreme closeup of your junk (and that applies to both sexes).
See, we all have genitalia, and generally they all look the same. (Even if you do think your dick is the Eighth Wonder of the World ‒ trust us, it’s really not.)
The majority of feedback from both men and women here is that they’d rather not see genital pics as the main profile photo; try uploading a photo of your face, smile, eyes, legs, abs, arms or any feature other than your babymaker.
Brevity is the Soul of Wit
...but don’t be too brief. We all love a bit of mystery and intrigue, but “I’m here to meet people” tells us little about you, or even what you intend to do with said people once you’ve met them. One liner profiles rarely get a second glance.
And on the flip side, don’t drone on and on and on like a tedious essay... this is one aspect where longer isn’t necessarily the better! Keep it snappy, on point and interesting.
Got Dealbreakers?
The beauty of this whole online dating thing is the ability to be totally upfront; you don’t need to struggle through the first meeting wondering if the night will end in Surprise Anal ‒ you can iron out all that pesky sexual compatibility stuff before you even meet!
If you absolutely cannot live without sextoys, or exactly 35 minutes of oral sex as foreplay, or reverse cowgirl followed up immediately with the triple axle thrust... well, now’s the time to say it.
Similarly, if you absolutely will not tolerate someone who smokes or has kids, let that be known in your profile. It will save everyone time!
TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK
SERIOUSLY.
THIS DOES NOT GET YOU NOTICED.
IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE YELLING.
AND NO ONE LIKES INTERNET YELLING.
Prefer Not to Prefer Not
A big complaint we often hear is that too many folks choose “Prefer Not To Say” on Dealbreaker type issues, like marital status, drug use, etc. It’s okay to leave a few blank ‒ some people may not be comfortable disclosing their city of residence, or bra size for that matter ‒ but don’t leave the entire section blank, or you may not get the responses you’re looking for.
Bling, bling
Feel free to use bling to spice up your profile, but for cripe’s sake, don’t blind us with it! Oversized bling, clashing colors and giant text can all turn people away from your profile instead of luring them in. Feel free to tinker and experiment with your profile’s look ‒ changing things up will keep it fresh and draw interest ‒ but try to keep your profile sleek and clean, as opposed to Las Vegas neon billboard.
Save the Dirty Talk for Later
Your profile isn't the place for extremely explicit and lengthy descriptions of sexual acts - it's kind of like putting the cart before the horse. As mentioned, it’s fine to outline dealbreakers (“I need to have anal sex”) but you don’t need to follow that up with a 2,000 word essay on exactly how the anal sex is gonna go down. Save that for your blog, or the email conversations later down the line.
Got more questions about etiquette, approach, and how to make the most of your online presence? Post them in AFF AdviceHub and we might answer your question in an upcoming column.
