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Just for points 21.11.2021
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1 Kommentare, 14 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,5.00 Gesamtpunktzahl
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EL PERRO, EL MONO Y LA PANTERA 1.7.2021
Cierta vez un perro se interna en la selva y se pierde en ella.
Una pantera lo vío, pero no sabía que animal era, y decide
cazarlo, el perro se percata de la presencia de la pantera
lleno de miedo la ve acercarse y no sabe que hacer, de pronto
descubre los huesos de un animal muerto y pone en marcha
un plan.
Se colóca de espaldas a la pantera y empieza a lamer los huesos. ...
3 Kommentare, 44 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,5.10 Gesamtpunktzahl
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MUJERES VENGATIVAS 1 1.7.2021
Hoy mi hija cumple 21 años...
y estoy muy contento porque es el último pago de pensión
alimenticia que le doy, así que llamé a mi hijita para que
viniera a mi casa y cuando llegó le dije:
++ Hijita, quiero que lleves este cheque a casa de tu mamá
y que le digas que: ¡¡¡Este es el último maldito cheque que va recibir de mí
en todo lo que le queda de ...
1 Kommentare, 85 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,4.57 Gesamtpunktzahl
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COSA DE CAMPESINOS 1.7.2021
JUAN Y MARIA ERAN 2 JOVENES CAMPESINOS QUE ANDABAN CAMINANDO
POR EL CAMPO, DE PRONTO MARIA SE DETIENE Y LE PREGUNTA A JUAN:
-- OYE JUAN COMO SABE EL BURRO CUANDO LA MULA QUIERE ACCION?
--Y JUAN LE RESPONDE -- POR EL OLOR, MARIA. SIGUEN CAMINANDO Y SE VUELVE A DETENER MARIA Y LE PREGUNTA
A JUAN: -- OYE JUAN Y COMO SABE EL TORO CUANDO LA VACA QUIERE? -- Y JUAN LE RESPONDE: -- POR EL OLOR, MARIA. ...
8 Kommentare, 5942 Angesehen,
295 Stimmen
,2.99 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Control de tráfico 1.7.2021
Un condutor es detendido en un control de tráfico. El policía
le explica que están ensayando un nuevo sistema para detectar
conductores que hallan ingerido alcohol mediante una
serie de sencillas preguntas a las que él debe responder.
La primera pregunta es:
<br>
- Si usted circula por el interior de un túnel sin iluminación
y ve a lo lejos dos faros que se acercan hacia ...
1 Kommentare, 160 Angesehen,
11 Stimmen
,4.48 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Crisis 1.7.2021
Era un matrimonio que tenía problemas de dinero y la crisis
obligó a la mujer a prostituirse.
La esposa muy confundida le dice: Pepe, ¡Pero yo no sé
nada de eso!
Y él le dice: Cuando tengas alguna duda sólo me preguntas,
yo estaré detrás del poste.
Así quedaron.
Llegó a primera noche y la mujer se vistió bien apretadita,
una faldita corta, medias de ...
2 Kommentare, 87 Angesehen,
12 Stimmen
,5.10 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Moral of the story 29.6.2021
On the farm lived a chicken and a , both of whom loved
to play together. One day, the two were playing when the
fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life,
the whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for
help!Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at
the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to
no avail, for he had gone to town with the only ...
0 Kommentare, 33 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,3.92 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Family Fun 29.6.2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Honey, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW ...
0 Kommentare, 194 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,1.30 Gesamtpunktzahl
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little boy 29.6.2021
“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards
and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom,
what is shit?" and she says, ...
4 Kommentare, 134 Angesehen,
13 Stimmen
,5.32 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Mensa Question 29.6.2021
You are on a , galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off.
And on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same
speed as you.
Directly in front of you is another galloping but
your is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the
in front of you.
What must you do to safely get ...
1 Kommentare, 131 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,3.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
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LIL' JOHNNY 29.6.2021
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed
4-year-old Little Johnny standing wide-eyed at the fence,
soaking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Great... he's 4 and I'm
gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No
need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll
answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his
and said, ...
0 Kommentare, 71 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,3.43 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Dumbest 26.6.2021
As a young boy enters a barber shop the barber whispers to
his customer's. This is the dumbest in the world. Watch while I prove
it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters
in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which
do you want, ?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That
never learns!" ...
1 Kommentare, 137 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,3.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Take Your Choice 26.6.2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB....
3 or ...
0 Kommentare, 118 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,3.43 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Deer Roping 26.6.2021
Deer Roping > I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it
in a stall,
> feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it
and eat it. The
> first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured
that since
> they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem
to have much fear
> of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come
right up and ...
0 Kommentare, 77 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
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Smart Ass ! 25.6.2021
There was this guy who was in love with his wife but his job
took up a lot of his time. One Sunday afternoon, his wife
came home and said the boys were out playing, and maybe they
should do some playing of their own. The man thought about this and decided she was right. He embraced her and they began to kiss passionately. She
felt him getting hard and said he'd best be getting
that condom on and ...
3 Kommentare, 125 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,4.06 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Three cheesy jokes that we all know and love.... 25.6.2021
1) If you have sex with a person without their consent, it
is called ....so if you have sex with a without
her consent, is it called , or shoplifting?
2) What kind of pleasure does a Priest get? ANSWER: Nun
3) If you have sex with someone and get a disease, you are
said to have an STD.....so if you jerk off to massive amounts
of porn on your computer and your ...
2 Kommentare, 77 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,1.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
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RETIRED 25.6.2021
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on
her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate,
my wife is like most women - she loves to browse, so I had to
learn to while away my time.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
the local Target:
Dear Mrs. ...
1 Kommentare, 130 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,4.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Dark Closet 25.6.2021
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover
comes over, she
puts her nine year old in the closet. One day the woman
hears a car in
the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.
<br>
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's
dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is, " the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks, " the man ...
1 Kommentare, 199 Angesehen,
11 Stimmen
,2.79 Gesamtpunktzahl
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When 24.6.2021
Judge asked , "So when did you realize
you were ?"
replied, wiping her tears, "When the
check bounced."
3 Kommentare, 132 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,2.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
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CATHOLIC HORSES???? 24.6.2021
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and
all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped
out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the
horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that - a very long shot - won the race.
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch
watched with interest the old priest step onto the ...
0 Kommentare, 58 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,4.41 Gesamtpunktzahl
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A Slighty Confused 24.6.2021
A comes home from school and asks her mother "Is
it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same
place where boys put their dicks?" "Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that
the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have
to explain it to her . "But then when I have a baby, " responded the
"won't it knock my teeth out?"
1 Kommentare, 184 Angesehen,
8 Stimmen
,3.48 Gesamtpunktzahl
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code 24.6.2021
A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code"
to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting
their in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
<br>
One day the husband told his five year old , "Go
tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
<br>
The told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded,
"Tell your daddy that he ...
2 Kommentare, 226 Angesehen,
13 Stimmen
,3.14 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Take Your Choice 23.6.2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB....
3 or ...
1 Kommentare, 184 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,4.41 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Lawyer Cross-Examines a Cop 23.6.2021
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer
during a felony trial. It went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching
the description of the offender running several blocks
away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. ...
7 Kommentare, 183 Angesehen,
28 Stimmen
,4.78 Gesamtpunktzahl
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a called sex 23.6.2021
Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover"
or "Spot".
I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license,
I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then
I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said,
"You don't ...
6 Kommentare, 322 Angesehen,
17 Stimmen
,2.56 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Cute 23.6.2021
A NAMED SEX
Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover"
or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been
very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew
the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like
a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one
too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He
said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You
don't ...
2 Kommentare, 129 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,4.50 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Dogs at the Vets 22.6.2021
Two dogs at the vets. 1st says to the other dog 'What
you here for?' 2nd says 'I keep rubbing myself
up my owners leg so he's having my balls cut off'.
'Ooch' says the first dog. 2nd says 'What
you here for then?'. 1st says 'Look at my owner
she's beautiful, perfect beasts, a tight arse, abosolutely
fabulous. Well she was bending over cleaning the oven ...
1 Kommentare, 49 Angesehen,
10 Stimmen
,3.98 Gesamtpunktzahl
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AND YOU EXPECTED WHAT? 22.6.2021
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before
he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I
finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.
"That's the one!" ...
2 Kommentare, 137 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,2.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
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A Must Read! 22.6.2021
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator
door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your
food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note,
placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the ...
2 Kommentare, 121 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,5.59 Gesamtpunktzahl
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spelling b!! 19.6.2021
A guy was driving down the highway with his smokin'
hot blonde girlfriend and she said to him, 'I think those people in the car next to us are from another
country. 'Why is that?' he said. 'Well, the are writing on the window and it says,
...'stit ruoy su wohs 
2 Kommentare, 71 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,5.75 Gesamtpunktzahl
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