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josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
isnt life interesting?   2.6.2008

Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.

After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the ...


1 Kommentare, 54 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
morning rituals   2.6.2008

What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning?

-Sends him to work.


1 Kommentare, 22 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
doggy style?   2.6.2008

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Does your wife ever ... well, you know ... does she ... well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two.

"Well, not exactly, " his friend replied, "She's into the trick aspect of it."

"Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?"

"Well... not exactly. More like she rolls over and plays dead."


1 Kommentare, 67 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
conseling   2.6.2008

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."

The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me."


1 Kommentare, 48 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
deaj au vous?   2.6.2008

After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each a drink, unaware that his new bride had already had more than enuff to drink. Finally, he took the girl of ...


1 Kommentare, 40 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
private investigator   2.6.2008

My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in ya."


1 Kommentare, 53 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
middle aged couple   2.6.2008

The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had had enuff and actually pounded on the wall between the two apartments. There being no ...


1 Kommentare, 44 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
Movie Night   29.5.2008

Listen, baby, I care about you. And only you. You're the come that when things are bad and I just don't have anybody else to turn to, that you'll give me the blowjob I so desperately need. And I thank you for that. You understand me, you understand my needs and how to make me happy and how to make me come.

And I get you.

So when someone invited me and my family to a movie, ...


0 Kommentare, 41 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
a meeting called   17.5.2008

The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the "other man".

The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being a man of the 90's and all, he decided to ...


1 Kommentare, 74 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,1.84 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
definition of wife   17.5.2008

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."

Another guy says, "What's that?"

The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."

Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.

A girl asks, "What's that?"

He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No ."

A lady says, "That's nice. My ...


1 Kommentare, 47 Angesehen, 3 Stimmen ,0.49 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
freudian slips???   17.5.2008

One of Sigmund Freud's early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying. Her friend begged her to share what was wrong. "Oh, it's just terrible, " she wailed. "Today the doctor told me I'm in love with my father, and. . .and. . .and you know, he's a married man!"


1 Kommentare, 38 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
all the thanks i need....   14.5.2008

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed ...


1 Kommentare, 88 Angesehen, 7 Stimmen ,6.10 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
WHY? OH WHY?   14.5.2008

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to ...


1 Kommentare, 69 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,3.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
rm_fn491 62 M
2  Artikel
I don't give Oral on a first date . . . . ?   13.5.2008

Bit of a fib really - I love giving Oral including on a first date!

I am alway curious about what a lady has eaten for dinner, after an occasion when I looked in the mirror before going home, to find that I had a piece of sweetcorn stuck to the end on my nose!

Has anyone else out there had a similar experience - perhaps with Spinach or Mushy Peas?


0 Kommentare, 237 Angesehen, 7 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
ill hold the olives   13.5.2008

A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out. "Well, " said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!" "What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender said. ...


1 Kommentare, 54 Angesehen, 4 Stimmen ,2.08 Gesamtpunktzahl
san62357 36 M
26  Artikel
Read on you will love this!!!!!!!!   12.5.2008

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:







You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a ...


0 Kommentare, 67 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,2.82 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
emergency preparedness   8.5.2008

Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, Dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it."

So she drove the boat to ...


2 Kommentare, 60 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,1.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
ten things universaly understood by men about women   8.5.2008

TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.


2 Kommentare, 182 Angesehen, 14 Stimmen ,1.06 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
why take the chance   8.5.2008

Gary receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.

He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes."


2 Kommentare, 58 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,1.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
wedding surprise !!!   8.5.2008

(this was passed along to me as a true story, i can not vouch for its validity) This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with over 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage and took the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone ...


3 Kommentare, 176 Angesehen, 6 Stimmen ,3.65 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
set your clock ahead   7.5.2008

One day a wife complained, "This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch." The husband grunted and replied, "The darn clock always was slow."


2 Kommentare, 48 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,3.12 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
poor larry   7.5.2008

Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company ...

Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth. Susan, after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.


2 Kommentare, 79 Angesehen, 1 Stimmen ,2.40 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
it pays to spend more time at home....   7.5.2008

The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm ?" She looked him rite in the eye and said, "You're never home !"


2 Kommentare, 105 Angesehen, 9 Stimmen ,3.21 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
just play me a tune...   7.5.2008

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.

Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look ...


2 Kommentare, 58 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,3.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
lil green monster   7.5.2008

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie, " she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."

"I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"


3 Kommentare, 73 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,3.12 Gesamtpunktzahl
goodfella27288 53 M
1  Artikel
Getting back into the swing of things...   7.5.2008

My wife and I have been swinging for about 3 years. We have always used Transen Kontakte for our contacts and to look for new friends. Back about a year and a half ago, we had a really bad experience and my wife just shut down. It got to where anytime I would mention getting back in she would freak out or just change the subject. Now, I admit, I had a little to do with her anxiety since I handled the ...


0 Kommentare, 81 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
the horrible curse   6.5.2008

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife".


3 Kommentare, 94 Angesehen, 7 Stimmen ,4.57 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
true love   6.5.2008

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday, I'm going ...


4 Kommentare, 86 Angesehen, 8 Stimmen ,3.94 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
couples and oral sex....   29.4.2008

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's pussy.

The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, "Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!"

The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?"

Gary yells, "There's a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck out of here!" The waiter ...


2 Kommentare, 109 Angesehen, 6 Stimmen ,2.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
more married life   29.4.2008

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was ...


2 Kommentare, 91 Angesehen, 3 Stimmen ,2.94 Gesamtpunktzahl