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josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
New Years Eve Party   26.12.2010

Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even ...


2 Kommentare, 133 Angesehen, 3 Stimmen ,3.92 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
the Maple Leaf   24.12.2010

After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's when she hit me with a maple leaf!"

"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.

"Are you ...


1 Kommentare, 116 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,3.12 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
Who Makes the Coffee   24.12.2010

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that's your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replied, "No ...


3 Kommentare, 131 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,3.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
Tom and Linda   24.12.2010

Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his face.

"I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the ...


1 Kommentare, 111 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,3.12 Gesamtpunktzahl
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Artikel
Night of the black strap on !   18.12.2010

I picked up this 6 ft tall knockout of a brunette back in the late 70's in a disco one mild winter night. She lived in a two story apartment townhouse with her bedroom upstairs. Just as sweet as she could be seemed like. Was always licking her lips like Cher.

After we had sex (and it was great too) she went into her bathroom and came out wearing a big black strap on dick that looked ...


5 Kommentare, 280 Angesehen, 15 Stimmen ,3.13 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
Larry asnd Susan   17.12.2010

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband"


1 Kommentare, 166 Angesehen, 1 Stimmen ,5.00 Gesamtpunktzahl
mzphatphat 38 W
6  Artikel
well get this   16.12.2010

ok well me and a "friend" waz you know doing the dam thing when he went down on me and boy was it feeling good till he stoped and said as he grabed my lips and said im the pussy monster and i have come to invade the town of penis! got to love him!


3 Kommentare, 184 Angesehen, 4 Stimmen ,3.25 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
the state trooper   16.12.2010

An 85-year old husband and wife decide to take a road trip. She drives because she can see and he rides because he can hear.

After traveling for a while, they get pulled over by a State Trooper. She rolls down her window and the cop says "I need to see your drivers license and vehicle registration please." The woman turns to her husband and shouts "WHAT DID HE SAY?" The husband replies, ...


2 Kommentare, 162 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,2.82 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
The Hammer   16.12.2010

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard." The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You God-damned bastard." The judge stops, and says to the guy in the back of the ...


1 Kommentare, 147 Angesehen, 4 Stimmen ,2.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
the funeral service   16.12.2010

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, ...


1 Kommentare, 128 Angesehen, 4 Stimmen ,4.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
adi_cool1991 33 M
13  Artikel
adi_cool   15.12.2010

any girl have to give me kiss?


1 Kommentare, 20 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
adi_cool1991 33 M
13  Artikel
adi_cool   15.12.2010

any girl have my cock in her pussy?


0 Kommentare, 13 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,1.04 Gesamtpunktzahl
adi_cool1991 33 M
13  Artikel
adi_cool   15.12.2010

any girl suck me for half hour?


0 Kommentare, 7 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
adi_cool1991 33 M
13  Artikel
adi_cool   15.12.2010

any girl suck me and taste my cock?


0 Kommentare, 5 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
adi_cool1991 33 M
13  Artikel
adi_cool   15.12.2010

any girl suck me?


0 Kommentare, 7 Angesehen, 0 Stimmen
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
newlywed farm couple   15.12.2010

A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't get enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields at down, they tear off a piece, and when he returns home at evening they have another go, before and after supper, and maybe a couple more during the night. The problem is during the day: the fields are a long way from the house, and the young man loses so much time traveling home ...


1 Kommentare, 130 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
one fall day   14.12.2010

One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife, " the man replied. "I'm sorry, " ...


1 Kommentare, 111 Angesehen, 1 Stimmen ,5.00 Gesamtpunktzahl
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Artikel
Internet connection !   14.12.2010

There was this young man, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly.

The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and ...


5 Kommentare, 117 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,1.84 Gesamtpunktzahl
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Artikel
Doctor ! Doctor !   14.12.2010

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Pull yourself together, man!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Don't let people push you around.

Sigmund Freud by Deddi Shy Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible. Who said that?! ...


1 Kommentare, 63 Angesehen, 3 Stimmen ,1.96 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
senior citizen romance   13.12.2010

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you use to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached ...


1 Kommentare, 94 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,1.73 Gesamtpunktzahl
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Artikel
New Panties !   3.12.2010

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in order to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

"Y-e-e-s-s-s, " she answers with a seductive smile.

"Thank God for ...


6 Kommentare, 146 Angesehen, 8 Stimmen ,2.55 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
the card game   3.12.2010

Boudreau, Thibodeau, Pierre, Trusclair, and Old Man John were playing cards in the back room at Pierre’s Bar. Suddenly Old Man John grabbed his chest, groaned, and fell over dead.

Everybody was upset but nobody wanted to be the one to tell John’s wife Jean... Finally Boudreau accepted the task.

“You gotta break it to her gently. We don’t want Miss Jean to think we had ...


2 Kommentare, 81 Angesehen, 1 Stimmen ,2.40 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
used parrot   3.12.2010

Mary decided to surprise her husband Boudreau with a parrot for his birthday. At the local pet store, the one parrot available was priced at $29.95.

“Why so inexpensive?” she asked the pet store owner.

“Well, he used to live in a house of and sometimes says vulgar things.”

Since Boudreau’s birthday was the next day, she went ahead and bought the bird. ...


3 Kommentare, 93 Angesehen, 3 Stimmen ,2.94 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
hearing test   3.12.2010

One day Boudreau went to the doctor to get a check up. Boudreau says to the doctor, “Mais you know something doc ... my wife Clotile, she’s having trouble wit her hearing.”

De doc say, “Well Boudreau, how bad is it?”

“Mais doc I don’t know how bad it really is but she don’t seem to hear me at all. Whats de best way to find out how bad her hearing is?”

...


1 Kommentare, 62 Angesehen, 2 Stimmen ,3.12 Gesamtpunktzahl
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Artikel
Grandma's pies !   2.12.2010

Granny made such beautiful pies.

So one day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edges so even?"

She said, "It's a family secret. So promise not to tell. I roll out the dough, and I cut out a bottom layer and carefully put it in a pie plate. Then I slowly pour the filling, making sure it's not too full. Next I cut a top layer and put it ...


7 Kommentare, 176 Angesehen, 12 Stimmen ,2.62 Gesamtpunktzahl
Ababix3 35 M
8  Artikel
Saving someone's picture as a screensaver   28.11.2010

If someone you've only known for a few months saves your picture as their desktop background, is that funny or downright creepy?


4 Kommentare, 81 Angesehen, 1 Stimmen ,2.40 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
the married mans confession   23.11.2010

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost."

"What do you mean almost?" questions the priest.

"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in, " explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 ...


1 Kommentare, 127 Angesehen, 4 Stimmen ,2.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
25th wedding anniversary   16.11.2010

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you ...


2 Kommentare, 131 Angesehen, 5 Stimmen ,3.47 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
the truck driver   16.11.2010

A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck' to a halt inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed: "What the hell's the matter with you two?.Didn't you hear me? You could have been ...


1 Kommentare, 112 Angesehen, 6 Stimmen ,2.80 Gesamtpunktzahl
josmith5 61 M
1466  Artikel
over seas vacation   16.11.2010

With his wife away on an overseas trip, a guy decided to take his secretary back to his house for an evening of passion. They were rolling around on the bed when he suddenly remembered he didn't have any condoms. I "What are we gonna do?" he said. "I don't know, " answered the secretary. "I don't have any either." Just then he hit upon an idea. "Hey'" he yelled exultantly. "No problem. I know ...


1 Kommentare, 115 Angesehen, 1 Stimmen ,2.40 Gesamtpunktzahl